I Always Wanted to Write….

I remember being at school, yes my memory does take me back that far surprisingly enough, I was really good at English, I don’t know what they call it these days, but I was always getting good marks for my stories, essays, poetry, handwriting and everything pertaining to English lessons. I remember wanting to be an artist, writer or a journalist, thank God I didn’t do the latter, but actually I didn’t do any of them, because as circumstances would have it, my mother moved us out of the city to the country, and my teen rebel surfaced in a disastrous way. By 15 I was pregnant, 16 I was a mother, ladies, the stories about there being nothing else to do in a country town are correct! My mother was busy running the local cafe she had bought and didn’t have time to supervise us kids, so run rampant we did, trouble is, it bit me in the ass big time!

So there it was, my writing dreams completely destroyed as I tried to navigate my way through motherhood. Trouble is I kept having kids, and then by the time I was in my late 30’s my kids started having kids and I always had a child of some sort theirs or mine attached to my widening hips! All sense of purpose for myself, all sense of even knowing who I was, left before I had even discovered it. When things used to shit me, I would grab a pen and paper and write a poem or just write, then throw it away. I would draw and then write a short story about it, but was always criticized and made fun of so I just put that side of me away. Oh it would surface every now and then but I never thought I ‘measured’ up to the work everyone else was doing so I always put it back in the depths of my dreams where it would remain until I turned 50.

For some reason turning 50 was like a catalyst, I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I could eat what I wanted, I could say what I wanted. How did things change so drastically that I now had a voice? I’ll tell you how, because I bloody well was sick of being creatively quiet! My husband has been a great support of mine for many years, yes it is the same man that fathered my first child alllll those years ago, yes we are still together which is a cultural shock on its own! I am a stay at home mum, yes I still have a child at home LOL, a 14 year old boy but he takes no looking after, he is a wonderful child and just no bother. This has enabled me to practice my art more readily, write poems and blog. I am not great at it because being in menopause makes you forget words and actually how to string 2 words together that make any sense. It also makes you forget your own damn name so trying to find yourself really takes on a whole new meaning during menopause! But I found I was allowing myself to start thinking about writing again and poetry, I started looking at courses I could take, and how could I get the ideas to write a really good story. Turning 50 has allowed me to start reading again, feeding my imagination and retraining my vocabulary. I have had kids my whole life so my amazing vocabulary was replaced with “I wish this kid would sleep”, “don’t touch that”, “stop eating that” etc etc. The big words had gone and were replaced with a lot of baby talk and kid talk.

So last year I was invited to put my artwork in an art show where 2 of my pieces sold, That can’t be right, my work isn’t good enough for this, it’s funny how we can never seem to change the perception of ourselves and yet we can encourage others to do so, well I can anyway. Becoming 50 gave me the ‘age’ right to now stop worrying about what everyone else was thinking and start trying to work out who I am and what creative path I should be on. In the meantime I am going to do everything possible and see what I love the most.

So back to writing….I am going to do it one of these days, I am going to become an author before I die, so that gives me a fair scope of time to get learning. I am going to embrace the gifts God gave me and no longer try and kill them in my self sabotaging kind of way. I am going to do this, and I would be well pleased if you would join me on my journey! x

Sunsets On Farm…

You will see some of the most glorious sunsets when you live on a farm. Maybe it’s because there are wide open spaces and nothing obstructing the view, or maybe it’s just because you are outside more often on a farm than you are if you live in a town. I’m not sure what it is but I could never live in a town again. The freedom a farm gives is like nothing you will experience unless you do experience it one day. It’s much the same as the surfers think about the ocean, wide open spaces with amazing sunsets!

Upcycled Girls Dresses

With a heap of grand daughters and daughters who love upcycling it just makes sense for me to make them cute dresses. This is a new pattern I am trialing and so fair I am really enjoying making this little dress. I am using both upcycled and new fabric just to make them stand out from the crowd type thing. The buckles, while they are an expensive additive as far as selling these dresses they really set them off! What do you think?

First Calf of the 2019 Season

Well it’s begun, the 2019 calving season and can I say this is my least favorite time of the year. Calving season almost immediately springs to mind pictures of cute little white faced calves frolicking among wildflowers chasing butterflies doesn’t it? Nothing could be further from the truth. This is the time of the year I feel the most stressed, so much can go wrong and usually does. There will always be that cow that prolapses, or that calf that gets stuck, or the mum that has huge bottle tits that the calf can’t suckle from, or or or. Last year nearly broke me from this life, the sadness and grief I feel when we lose a calf or a mother, or both. The devastation the mother feels when she loses a calf, some mothers don’t care, but some definitely do. And this year is tougher because we have no grass left on this property so a feeding schedule has begun, but that will not be anywhere near the amount of feed a mother needs to sustain milk production for a baby. Ugh, it might just be me, I am probably not cut out for the toughness of this life, and trust me you have to be tough. I absolute admire and respect every farmer out there doing this job, the wives that are working alongside their husbands with little acknowledgement, I SEE YOU!

THEN, there is the cute and cuddly side, when the calves do very well, they run and play, they form clubs and play with their mates, that side of things is awesome and it makes my heart happy. So I guess for every shit time there is a nice time, so it all balances itself out in the long run and really that’s what life is about isn’t it? Balance……..oh and God of course *wink!

10% Off This Month!

Say hello to happy hands! 👋

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Market Bags and Beach Bags

So I have started making market bags & limited edition beach bags. All my bags are 100% made by me using upcycled vintage fabric and calico. I will be making kids bags as well as there is no greater time like the present to be teaching children about the dangers of single use plastic bags. I will be loading new bags once a week so keep your eyes ready for the weekly drop!